Selfish Desires

This morning in my quiet time I was praying about my purpose and my desires, and God ever so gently questioned me about the reasons behind these desires. I felt Him saying to me that while these were all good, meaningful desires,... why? "Why do you desire these things? Is it because they make you feel good, or is it because you love Me? Because nothing you do matters if it is not done out of your deep love for Me! Nothing. No matter how good. No matter how right. No matter how meaningful. Is it truly because you love Me? And what if I choose not to fulfill your heart's desires, will you still love Me? Will you trust that I know best?" I really had to get on my knees and repent. I asked Him to fill me with His love and His desires, not mine. To show me the path He has for me and help me to stay on that path. To truly love Him with all my heart, and out of that love to love others. There are many 'good' reasons for my desires: I deeply love children and desire to adopt more. I deeply care for the people in Africa, especially the babies that are abandoned and need to be loved and cared for. I desire to live a ten-talent life...to be a sheep and not a goat...to hear Him say "well done". These are certainly all good desires. But if they are not rooted in a deep, abiding love for Him, they mean nothing. They are rubble. They will burn. Only those things done out of love will remain. This lesson was further illustrated when I opened up my emails and the devotion for the day was titled "Unmet longings." How appropriate. Drive it home, Lord. I think I'm getting it. She says 'sometimes I get so consumed in seeking my unmet longings that I forget to earnestly seek Him.'  She goes on to say that we must make the choice to surrender these things to Him and trust Him for His best by seeking Him first. Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that You love me so much and You desire my love in return. First.  Above all else. And when I truly love You with A L L of my heart, and A L L of my soul, and A L L of my strength...then You will take care of everything else.