So Blessed

I just have to say that I am so incredibly blessed! Blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves me, blessed to have a wonderful husband who loves me, blessed to have four awesome children who love me, blessed to have a church family who loves me, blessed to have fabulous friends who love me....I could go on and on and on. The thing is, I haven't always felt this way. There have been times when I have felt that no one really loved me; at least that's how I felt. I know it wasn't true, but feelings have a way of, well, feeling true. But when Truth is in your heart, you begin to understand how to sort out what's true and what's not, and learn to take every thought captive. (I'm still working on that one) I've spent way too much time and far too many years feeling down about myself and life in general. So that's why I am blessed to be able to write that I am truly blessed. Because I know it! I don't just feel it, I KNOW it. And blessings bring us so much joy! Thank you, Father.

Caring Father

As long as I live, I don't think I will ever fully comprehend the fact that my Heavenly Father cares so much for me. I mean, I know He cares for us all and loves us very much, but the way He cares about even the smallest details of my life just blows me away! My human nature is to think that He's way too busy to bother with itty, bitty me; much less to care about my itty, bitty problems or concerns. But He does! And He proves it over and over again! And I am so incredibly thankful that He is my faithful, caring Father!

Marvelous Mercy

So...I just need to vent and since this is my blog, I think I will. More and more, every single day, I find myself amazed and utterly sickened at the sinfulness and depravity of mankind! Seems like every where I turn, whether it's the newspaper, tv or computer, the horrifying stories of sin are there. Stories of women and children being forced into sexual slavery, parents abusing and sometimes killing their precious babies, and even local headlines of teachers violating and preying upon their students. Oh my goodness, I could go on and on and on! It's absolutely mind-blowing! Please don't get me wrong, I am not without sin. I am in need of God's mercy just as much as anyone else, but I find it so hard to understand how people can do these things. I find it even harder to understand how God can still have mercy on us. His heart is love. He commands us to love one another. These acts of wickedness are the farthest thing from that. How it must break His heart! How sickened He must be! I find that all I can do is cry out to Him "God have mercy on us all!"

Endless Love

Last night I couldn't get to sleep and I found myself thinking about how very much God loves us and always has. I thought about how easy it would have been for Him to stop with Adam and Eve when they messed up. He so easily could have said "That's it. They had their chance. Everything was absolutely perfect for them, but they had to go and eat from the one tree I told them not to!" And again with the people of Noah's day... He could have said "No more! They are so wicked; I'm done with them!" There are so many more examples, but I thought about the Israelites, and how they prayed and prayed that He would rescue them from captivity; then when He finally does, they complain about the conditions and wish they were back in Egypt. Oh how He could have called it quits right then...I mean, if at any of these times He had decided enough was enough, there would not have been a reason for His Son to die. I guess it's just hard for me to wrap my head around that kind of love that would put up with so much from the very ones He created for his glory. And that love that began way back before time is still very much alive today! That love, wrapped up in the form of Jesus, is not only with us, but in us. We live and breathe His love every single minute of every single day. This is just so amazing to me that He loves us with that kind of incredible, endless love.

God-Confidence

A confident woman is positive. Confidence and negativity do not go together. That's what Joyce Meyer says. And I agree. She goes on to say that being positive or negative is a choice, and either one comes from habits we form throughout our lives. The real key, I believe, is where we find our confidence. The world will tell us to believe in ourselves, we can do anything we set our minds to, etc., etc., etc. And while this may sound good on the surface, many who think this is their answer still struggle to be confident people. Why is that? Because our confidence must be found in God; the One Who created us. I have struggled my entire life with feelings of negativity resulting from extremely low self-confidence. I could never, EVER, find that confidence in myself. And sadly, no one really told me the truth...that I needed to base my confidence in God. Not me. Not self. I mean, come on, I know me. I know my faults. I know my fears. Why in the world would I ever place my confidence in me? But when I look to Him, I'm different. Not perfect. But different. I see mercy. I see grace. I see a love like no other. And suddenly I feel confident. In Him. His Word says that the Truth will set you free. It does. It really does! When I stop listening or believing the negative thoughts, and look to His Truth, I'm free! Free to live in the confidence that I am loved no matter what. Free to live in peace and joy that can only come from Him. I don't want to be a negative person. Who enjoys being around someone who always brings you down? I know I don't. And I know I have to make a choice every single day, sometimes minute-by-minute, to be a woman of peace and joy. Satan knows that if he can steal my joy, he's stolen my day. I will not let him have that victory! Lord, I look to You for my confidence. Help me each day to make the choice to drive away the negativity and be filled with Your peace and Your joy, so that it may overflow onto everyone around me. Thank You, Jesus.

Green-Eyed Monster

I have a confession to make. I am envious! Yes, the green-eyed monster has a foothold in my life. There. I said it. I confess that so many times I find myself envious of those who are living out their life of faith...whatever that looks like for them. When I say "them", I'm referring to the many people I read about that are serving God in some way...often in another country, but sometimes right here at home. They just seem to get it. They know what they're supposed to be doing and they're doing it! Over and over I keep hearing different messages about waiting,....and how the waiting has a purpose......and how we are to wait and trust......I know all of this. Really, I do! And I have come to the conclusion that it would be much easier if I knew exactly what I was waiting for!!! If I knew this, I could wait patiently for His perfect timing to bring about whatever it is. (Maybe...hopefully) But the point is I don't really know. I have dreams and desires, and I even have things I think He has hinted at, but I want to know. I want to KNOW! Oh my, sounds sort of like a childish tantrum....uh, sorry about that. (Blame it on the monster.) Anyway, I guess instead of praying for Him to help me wait, I need to pray "Lord, PLEASE help me to know what it is I am waiting for, and PLEASE help me wait patiently. Thank You. Amen." (And could You please get rid of this monster with the big green eyes? Thanks.)

Selfish Desires

This morning in my quiet time I was praying about my purpose and my desires, and God ever so gently questioned me about the reasons behind these desires. I felt Him saying to me that while these were all good, meaningful desires,... why? "Why do you desire these things? Is it because they make you feel good, or is it because you love Me? Because nothing you do matters if it is not done out of your deep love for Me! Nothing. No matter how good. No matter how right. No matter how meaningful. Is it truly because you love Me? And what if I choose not to fulfill your heart's desires, will you still love Me? Will you trust that I know best?" I really had to get on my knees and repent. I asked Him to fill me with His love and His desires, not mine. To show me the path He has for me and help me to stay on that path. To truly love Him with all my heart, and out of that love to love others. There are many 'good' reasons for my desires: I deeply love children and desire to adopt more. I deeply care for the people in Africa, especially the babies that are abandoned and need to be loved and cared for. I desire to live a ten-talent life...to be a sheep and not a goat...to hear Him say "well done". These are certainly all good desires. But if they are not rooted in a deep, abiding love for Him, they mean nothing. They are rubble. They will burn. Only those things done out of love will remain. This lesson was further illustrated when I opened up my emails and the devotion for the day was titled "Unmet longings." How appropriate. Drive it home, Lord. I think I'm getting it. She says 'sometimes I get so consumed in seeking my unmet longings that I forget to earnestly seek Him.'  She goes on to say that we must make the choice to surrender these things to Him and trust Him for His best by seeking Him first. Thank you, Lord, for reminding me that You love me so much and You desire my love in return. First.  Above all else. And when I truly love You with A L L of my heart, and A L L of my soul, and A L L of my strength...then You will take care of everything else.